that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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