I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
