Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the day after is always just damage control
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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