Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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