Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
