when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
there is puke in my bra ... again
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