so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sorry about my life...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
