her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize