would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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