Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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