do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
