Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
