u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
