I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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