laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
