marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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