im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
