No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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