Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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