just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
