Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
