Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
