She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
