Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
