Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize