Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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