Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
