he thought i was a dude.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
