Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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