Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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