maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
