i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it was like eating out sand paper
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
