dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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