So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
