Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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