I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
