I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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