So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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