I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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