Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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