We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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