Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
