the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
