I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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