We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
