I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Alive.
So much puke
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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