Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
