forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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