I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
