i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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