3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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