That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
