apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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