Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
