we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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